July’s proving to be the month of old flames–no matter how weird the story behind it.
I can’t quite bring myself to be poetic about it at two in the morning, a tad tipsy and a bushel confused. I once knew, but not really knew this boy; my friends and I code named him “strawberry” for reasons I’m still unsure of. As relationships of the strange nature that ours was went, and at the tender age of much too young; it was really one of my more interesting early experiments HAHAHA. So why write about this boy?
Well, by some stroke of luck, I saw him during a truancy session at a college I didn’t even go to– the thought? hot damn. It was just a few moments, but in those few I found myself fighting the urge to slap myself across the face, remembering the dumb shit a much younger me did. Life goes on, and we let sleeping giants lay.
But I guess now is the time to introduce dsj, yet another old (one-sided) flame that I had the opportunity to reconnect with. I remember the day I met him so clearly, down to what I was wearing. Not because I held on to that moment, but because the people around me never let me forget it. So into my classmate’s house I strolled, wearing the ugliest sweater and jeans, not expecting anything great to happen….. But then there it is: sophomore boys molded by god’s own hands. Or at least to my fifteen year old self.
Now dsj, he wasn’t anything special at first glance: I was a little taller than him, and he hid behind thick rimmed glasses. It was the moment he opened his mouth, though, that I was absolutely taken. Wit, sarcasm, and the ability to get me, the snark queen, to shut the fuck up. I was infuriated, embarrassed, and mystified. The usual awkward silences ensued and I had then convinced myself that it wasn’t worth it; but as he had to leave, me muttered something in a voice I can no longer recall, “It was really nice talking to you tonight.” And once again, I was floored. I got home, and the symbol of interest in our generation lay in wait: one friend request.
Needless to say, things didn’t quite turn out so great– which was completely my fault, by the way. I was dealing with being an insecure teenager and held on much too tight. I don’t know how it happened, but dsj and I, two years later, are suddenly reconnecting; and in a way that feels so much easier than before.
July’s posing to be interesting… I can’t wait to see what crazy shit is going to happen this time.